Happy Blessed Birthday Jesus!

Blessed be the NAME of the Lord forever and ever!! Father God, I thank you for your precious son whom you brought to earth in the flesh to save, set free and deliver. I thank you for your perfect plan...I thank you that my name is written in the Lamb's book of Life...I thank you for impregnating Mary's womb by your Spirit..I thank you for the Son of Man who brought you glory while here on this earth and brings you glory eternally...

It was a HOLY night

"and in HIS name, all oppression shall cease"

thank you that I am free because of The Bright and Morning Star!

thank you for The Lion and the Lamb!

thank you for I AM!

thank you for your precious blood that washes away my sins and makes me whole!


To Him who always was, is and forever to be..be GLORY, HONOR, DOMINION AND POWER FOREVER MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HALLELULAH TO THE LAMB OF GOD!


YOUR THRONE IS ESTABLISHED FOREVERMORE!


I bow to you in submission

you bring sun out of my rain...

I love you Jesus.

still here

computer is still hanging in there....thankfully


my performance went well on Saturday..I was a little fearful..but Jesus had helped me shine and just pour our the gifts He's blessed me with..I was surprised and elated at the confidence inside that was spilling outside...I still have a ways to go..it's a process...but I'm grateful and confident in Him....thank you Lord

not much to say today(really)..lol...I'm blessed and in Jesus's arms..forever.

gnite

this might be so long

okay so my computer is def conking out on me..it keeps turning off and on therefore I know it has a virus, inspite of the many protections I have on it..so I don't know how I'll be able to post to my blog unless I can access it through a public computer..hopefully so...until such time..I will continue to keep the blog alive ..oh well
that's the sun and rain of it all
gnite

A song in my heart

okay I was trying to post this on friday but the computer was tripping...


Hi
I'm just on for a few minutes..doing some studying this evening..after having a totally unproductive day yesterday(sat)
I praise God that after my last post, He lifted my low spirits that very evening and I sang in my heart to Him and danced and just fellowshipped in the safety of his smile..totally unexpected...and truly it was His spirit that drew me..over and over He boggles my mind
Fellowship has been restored, I have been restored, now of course the enemy is still busy, still trying to take my focus off of God..but Jesus helps me to surrender and praise Him through it all...

O man, I'm doing it again, thought I was only gonna write a few lines..lol

well today, I didn't like me today..some of my decisions of late have been unwise and just plain ole stupid! although I'm careful not 2 call myself stupid...been regretting alot and still struggling w/being a procrastinator..been having some jealousy in my heart towards someone on the job(a long story I'll tell one day) and been putting myself down.and I've just got to give it all to Him...ask Him to renew my mind..my thoughts even..to see myself through His eyes(ooh, how about Barry Manilow's "Could It Be Magic" just came on the station..I LOVE THAT SONG! and I really like Barry-I have his greatest hits,ok!)
sorry, like I was saying, I'm just asking Jesus to work on me and all of my issues..

U can't get away from u...I know many feel like this..I've got to accept all of me..Jesus does(even though He works on me everyday)..why should I throw me away? "I'm fearfully and wonderfully made"!

I have a performance next week...I've been yet again doubting whether or not I have anything significant to say..knowing the fire that God has put in me..I'm still doubting...but I know my God will help me as He always does!

He put a song in my heart
Help me sing it to the world

love and peace
gnite

those extra specials..

today God did a little sumthing sumthing just for me....

you know how I've been feeling kinda "invisible" at my job and just the whole situation with the woman there in the aisle that I sit in....wellll....
I was sitting there minding my biz and someone comes up next to me, brushes my arm a bit and hands me a small envelope...I could tell right away that it was a Christmas card...

and I'm like "thank you" "thank you"...I open it and read it and when the lady came back to her desk, I turned around and looked her in the eye, smiled and said thank you....
her face, hard b4, was sweet like apple pie ..it was geniune and it just melted alot of stuff in me...cause it's hard to come into that everyday and be around alot of negativity and I guess one can build up resistance or a small "wall", if you will(although Jesus carves away at me to keep me open and flowing)..and I got to feeling inspired and thinking that I might just bring in Christmas cards for everyone(hah! I know He is working on me!!)on Fri. and put a little special personal note in there.

It was like God said "yeah I see what you're going through, I see you my child and I'm gonna sprinkle a little sugar on you".....it was such a warm wonderful moment..it kinda broke some ice and just the whole uneasiness of the situation....I felt Jesus's hug and smile..it was God's extra special for me...just for me.

I love you Lord

elevators

It's a new day and I'm bathed in His grace and mercy..always

soooo I've got a couple questions today:

Why, when people get in the elevator chatting it up, but the doors close, everyone falls quiet until only breathing is heard?

and why, when you get in the elevator with another person, they turn towards you and just STARE at you?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????!

and does pushing the elevator button 100 times, make it come any faster? if not, why do people do it? why do I?

and why would an elevator take 10 minutes to come, when there's only 4 floors?!


if anyone knows the answers, let me know..please! LOL...

have a good evening

I'm so glad you translate my tears

I feel far away from my Saviour...and I don't like it
I need so many things restored afresh by His powerful hand..just to sit in His presence today was painful for me b/c I didn't feel anything..didn't feel HIM..the challenge was and still is to sit anyways...and...wait...
that song "Praise Is What I Do"..is more than a notion...more than a song...
I don't feel like "Praise Is Who I Am"....oh Jesus this is so hard..

Ever since my pastor going home to be w/the Lord..my faith, trust has suffered...I suppose it's God's pruning..but again..I don't like it..
even more than me grieving that my pastor is gone and our church didn't receive the miracle we were looking for...I'm grieving b/c I really don't know my Lord...not like I thought I did...WHO can know HIM?

Can I really ever know you Lord? your ways and thoughts are so much higher! it saddens my heart...b/c I can't live this life without you..you know that..I know that...
I feel like one big question mark...

there are no easy answers...it's a process..that I wish would hurry up...I don't like going through the day not talking/fellowshipping with Jesus...

what happened to the closeness(like never before)we shared just b4 my pastor passed? was it all just an illusion? no...b/c your Spirit witnessed w/my spirit...

so what happens now? I feel hollow...
help me Christ
help me.

Poetry

Poetry is a wonder
and I marvel at the way God uses my mind to create her...
I look at it and say "how could I put this magic together? in perfect form and context?"
..and then I know it's not me..
it's the Creator...generously pouring it from His breast into my empty, waiting, obedient vessel.
I marvel...

Jesus is the wonder!

gnite

does she talk?

oh pooh...I think I'm getting a cold
it starts with the scratchy throat and then the post nasal drip...this blows!(lol..no pun intended)
I don't have alot to say today
I'm glad friday is dress-down day and I would like some hot creamy grits,eggs and sausages for breakfast! sounds good huh?
think I'll go perform tomorrow at open mic...need to get my strength back up...need to sing
God continues to lift my spirits...I'm able to praise him and pray and read the word a little bit more...how amazing He is! just last week I wasn't able to do any of this...
oh..well..u know how u thought u didn't have much to say but then things come to u?
ok

Today I felt very invisible at work(which is nothing new)...I aspire to a quiet mind but I sit in the busiest, noisiest aisle and I could feel them today..the energy of wanting me to change and mingle in w/the group...ya know, gossip, talk about people, complain...I could feel their nails..their roar....the Lord let me hear one of the ladies talking about me...she was right across from my desk and I had my headphones on(but I had the volume low)...she was saying "man, she doesn't even try to mix in with the group" "does she ever talk?" "she's not arguing with anyone"(isn't that insane?!)...and I heard the lady she was discussing me with say "she talks when she feels like it".......have u ever heard someone talk about u and they didn't know u hear them?...it's amazing what they will say...
I started to turn around and let her know I heard her..but I just filed it away and then gave it to God...
why quiet?
over the years , God has taught me discipline of my tongue...and as I was talking w/another Christian sister today about Christians...we do stand out...we are strange..and people will test us..poke and prod..ooh and aah..and spit venom...people get caught up in the little stories of life..they talk to each other in disrespectful ways everyday..supposedly it's endearing...calling one another "itch"...like that's the name they were born with...sometimes people constantly run their mouth b/c there's an emptiness inside....I can see it...sense it...that used to be me.
I've already witnessed the ladies trying to test me, seeing how far they can go, what I will and won't tolerate...ready to say at any moment "I thought u were a Christian?"
one brushes past the desk I sit at frequently, another bumps into the desk alot,some come in my space talking read loud...and even though I see right through it ,it still stings at times. I stay close to Christ and rejoice in the fact that I am validated by the creator of all...he makes me feel..makes me real..gives me value..and self-love.......
I remember when I hadn't yet been enlightened years ago, I bought into the low opinions others had of me and turned myself inside out to be liked...
so I praise God for this kind of suffering b/c I'm not the same and I know my name...I know who I am in Christ..and that makes all the difference in the world.
VICTORY!

and I didn't have much to say? LOL
peace and blessings
gnite