Issues

Christians have issues. Christians have issues,b/c Christian's aren't perfect. Christian's have issues b/c we live in a fallen world broken by sin & even though we're saved, we're still being sanctified. We are all on different levels. Different levels of maturity, different levels of surrender. There's still some blindness, still some veils, still much flesh, still more dying to be had.
I have issues. And before I even begin to pray about anyone else's, I must, while holding Christ's hand..address mines. But after that, it is okay, as you are led by the Spirit to pray for others. With God's help, we must resist talking about the person that's hurting us. We must resist tearing them down with our tongue and/in our thoughts and we must remember that we're still being worked on as well. We must remember to not think of ourselves more highly than we ought to. This can creep in, without even knowing it. We must remember that it is hard, as my mom always says, for any human being to hear about themselves; something that is offensive and needs to be changed. Only God can give us eyes to see and ears to hear. Jesus does speak through His people and sometimes we must confront in love. IN LOVE. Hard to do, if the person has wounded you. Hard to do, if you haven't done anything to them. Hard to do, when your flesh just wants to lash out and go up one side of them and down the other!!
God has been teaching me these hard lessons in life, especially on my ever-adventurous daytime assignment(job). There are a few folk I'm bringing to the Lord & they are my sisters in Christ. I have wanted to do it my way. I have sometime said harsh things to them, in my mind. I have wanted God to knock them upside the head or let me do it!! Being honest here yall...gotta be real. I still struggle to even pray for them. It's only through God empowering me and constantly drenching my heart in His agape love. It's only by me asking for the root of bitterness not to grow in me. As the battle intesifies, I wanna do it my way again. pleaseeeeeee Lord, let me handle it!!! NOPE..That's not my way daughter. Flesh gots to die. That means our way of handling things. I actually did handle it my way one time and the next day I had to apologize..HA! So you see where that got me. And the enemy will egg you on. He will tempt u with revenge and with "God, doesn't want you to be no punk!". That's how u know it His evil self whispering. Christ has not called us to a spirit of fear. So, that's not even the issue.
I'm waiting on Him. I'm leaning on Him. I must keep coming back again and again and again and again. I must ask Christ to open blind eyes. I must ask Him to help me face the fact that this person may never apologize or may never see it God's way. I still must love. I still must live. I must not allow their issues to paralyze or deter me. Again, I must remember my own. I must pray for healing for the body of Christ. We are still all family. And family does hurt family. God has shown me many a time, when I've offended another. It's not alright for them to do it & it's not alright for me to do it. I am no better than anybody else. Sometimes I've wanted not to face that it was me that was doing the hurting. Hard to look in the mirror. Easy to look in someone's else's.
My precious brothers and sisters in Christ..take all of this to God in prayer. Ask Him who is supposed to be in your life and who's not. I've currently got a few fires cooking on the stove and I'm in prayer about all of them. Some are more painful than others. But God is faithful and God is working in us all. If you have to confront in love, God will even give you creative ways to do it. I've seen it happen. Remember, He's a God of relationship...and so that He also calls us to. And relationship is work. No way around that. Even if it's a friend, colleague, supervisor, co-worker, etc...
Praise be to God, one day there will be NO MORE STRUGGLE. We will all be perfected in His glorious light and love. There will be no more issues. No more stinking flesh. Only love. Only God's pure and Holy LOVE.
Thank you Jesus! Thank you Father! Thank you Holy Ghost!
We, your children press to mirror your perfect union and relationship with one another in the Godhead. And with your help and your promises to perfect us, we will get there! In the name of Jesus the Christ..amen.

L-O-V-E.

Jesus is sooooo personal!!

Peace & blessings world,
how u be? There's so many things I wanna share with you & words just flood my soul.
The other day I met up with a cuz of mine that I hadn't seen in years and it was so very good 2 see her. We were catching up on ole times & I was preparing 2 hop on the bus 2 go home. Well it happened that she offered 2 give me a lift and on our way, we stopped to get a bite 2 eat; even despite me wanted to go home cause I was tired. Now, mind u these details might seem minute..but later on I found out it was all in God's plan. He's guiding u even when u don't think He is or even when you're not aware of it.
So we're enjoying some food & fellowship and another friend at the table begins to minister to me, through the Spirit of God, in prophecy. Now I'm sitting there grubbin on my chicken fingers, and had to put them down & wipe the rivers from my eyes cause the Spirit of God was so heavy in there!! Right in the middle of Applebee's! lol. I was floored at the things I was hearing and how Christ was so detailed with me and all in my mind and deep desires of my heart. Ya know, we know that as children of God, The Lord hears us..but really do we really believe that? Do we believe He pays attention to every single solitary thought AND that He cares? Somewhere in me, I must not have fully believed that or else I wouldn't have been so shocked. Each time the Lord reveals more of Himself to me, I realize I know less & less of Him. He's such a BIG God, but He's such a personal Jesus!!
The one thing that my heart most took wings on was "I am pleased with you". Me? Me Lord?! wow! HALLELUJAH!! How precious of my Lord to tell me that. How awesome of Him to encourage and give me kisses and hugs. No word in the english language can describe how much love I felt for the Lord at that moment. That He wants and is pleased with a wretch like me! OH GLORY!!
As always, as the Lord instructs us in His word..we are to "judge all prophecy". And so I am. And I also am asking the Lord to help me not to fixate on the prophecy in the days & weeks to come, but to keep my eyes on Him. I can't praise or worship or serve that prophecy..I can't get it twisted & make it my God. Must keep things in balance and in perspective and just continue to pray on it all. Thank you Lord for wisdom.
That word came a few hours after a heavy & depressing time in my life and before more of the same. So u see I can't wrap myself in it, but I must continue to put on Jesus and rely my whole entire being upon Him & Him only.
"Thank u Jesus for sending your personal & divine Words of love to me. I pray blessings upon the obedient vessel that brought it forth and I pray that I will keep my eyes on you and still do the things you've called me to do. That I will not slack up and say "Jesus is going to do it"..but that I will do my part & be in partnership with You. God, help any unbelief in my life and thank u for dealing with any undiscipline in my life. Thank you for giving me strength to go on in the face of many trials..help me not to faint..but help me to rejoice in You ALWAYS!" God I praise You for being a personal Christ. Just like you gave and continue to give your life, help me to do the same and to delight in laying all down before you and throwing my whole being in your bosom for pruning, shaping, molding, dying & living. I pray for grace and favor upon my life and that I will overcome evil and temptation by the power of Your name. Help me not to hurt anyone. Help me not to hurt myself. Oh Lord...."BLESS ME INDEED...."
in the name of Jesus, amen."

i'm tired

**This is me, writing about my issues. Please my precious family, don't misunderstand and take offense. If you've been following my blogs or if u know me, then you know my heart and you also know I must be real with it..even if that means exposing my mess. aiight? I love u all & will continue to celebrate your roses! :-). Let's proceed:


So, everyone's coming out with their cd's. It's an amazing thing to behold; seeing Christ bring dreams He planted in His children, to fruition. And to be honest,I've been experiencing some insecurities yall.
I'm so very happy for my sista's and brotha's in Christ but I'm just plain ole' sad for me. Been having one big ole' pity party!! My Lord knows how I've been feeling about this. 'Bout how I thought my project would be finished or at least halfway done by now . How I thought a "teaser" or demo would've been dropped by now. How I'm up to my ears in support and purchase of my fellow artists cds. And how I truly want to support them(God you know my heart), but lately it's just been mirroring where I'm not and want to be. Yes folks-these are my issues & no one else's. How I hear those negative and damaging thoughts slowly creeping into my head like: "this is never going to happen". How I MUST fight that lie with the truth. How THAT is a struggle.
It's like that swimmer, swimming the last laps and just too winded and tired to pull her head above water to make it to victory or the finish line or whichever one comes first. And so....what? she drowns?! NO! That can't be an option for me.
Yet, I'm still winded and so tired. And honestly, I haven't even begun to fight. Coming from wounds of procrastination and underdeveloped backbones..I KNOW God is teaching me to fight and how to. Not in any violent way. I'm not meaning it like that. God has just taught me that I CAN take some things. And that I won't "fall all to pieces" or "lose my mind". Thoughts that used to quietly & destructively scar my existence. He's shown me I CAN make it. And this might be a simple & non-important revelation to most..But it took me a lifetime to get there. For Christ to deliver me from this mindset and to actually change my nature. THAT IS HUGE. That is a miracle. I am that miracle.
And yet, still the struggle. Well..obviously..or this blog wouldn't be called "the sun and rain of it all". right?
The last time we spoke, I said I had alot to tell about what the Lord's been doing in my life and inside of me. He has revealed to me some reasons for some of my suffering. The waiting. yeah..He's developing me and it's not my time to shine yet. Okay, I get that. And I was so grateful and full of praise when He revealed that to me. It was like some fog of the why's had been lifted. But now, it's making me sad and a little sour. Why does my flower have to take SO long to blossom and bloom? Why are so many others springing up right in front of my eyes, all around me, everywhere?? What the heck am I doing wrong?
But the real question should be..just when did I stop trusting God? Didn't He say to me in His word that He would "perfect everything that concerns me"? Shouldn't I know by now that measuring my life up against anybody's and comparing is so toxic and unfruitful?? Don't I know that my brotha's and sista's roses haven't just sprung up..that there's been many a tear and many painful days, many sacrifices, many years?? Haven't I been down this road many a time before? What have I learned? Aren't I'm just like an Israelite?!!...complaining after miracles.
Oh God, Help me to trust you in these very hard places. I'm so glad I can pour all of this out and place it in Your bosom Lord. I'm happy You understand your child. Forgive me for doubt and for worrying. This insecurity is not honoring you at all. You flat out told me in Your Word "Do not worry". Help me in my state of clay, to not worry. "Be not anxious for anything". Help me oh Lord to please You. Grant me faith. Help my unbelief. Heal my mind of toxic lies and let me fill my spirit with the life-giving and life-changing Word of God...every day. Strengthen me to keep on going. Direct my pathways. Direct my thoughts. Help me to be most concerned with obeying You...especially with the things You already told me to do, that I'm currently not doing. Wash me. Cleanse me. Make me to hear joy and gladness. Help me to do what honors YOU the most. I praise You for my life and that I can have the abundant life only IN YOU. Continue to shephard your sheep. your little lost sheep. She can only be found IN YOU. I love you Jesus. It's in your name, I ask all of these things. amen.
signed,
sun and rain of it all

hey

hey..just dropping in to say hi real quick..been a busy last couple weeks and I've got a whole lot to share with you...all Glory to my Lord! thanks for hanging in there with me and I'll return soon with updates(no later than this weekend).
peace and blessings