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For your grace...

I thought a whole lot today about the destitute places God has bought me from. Yes-destitute.
Someone very close to me has walked away from the Lord and is lost and in bondage. I go back in forth in my emotions. I get angry b/c this person's actions are hurting so many others. I get sad that I can't save this person. I sometimes feel hopeless and helpless.
And then, the Lord gives me His tears. His sorrow for His lost child. Praise be to God, that's when I can pray the Father's heart. That's when all of my feelings fall away and I can be an open receptable for the the Spirit of God. That's when I get only an inkling of how many tears God's cries for His children. When we hurt ourselves, when we hurt each other, when we hurt Him. God have mercy
I thought, if not for the grace of God, this could be me too. I am not exempt from falling away again. And I'm not speaking negative things but it's about being humble and real and realizing the sinful heart is "desperately wicked and beyond cure". That if I don't keep myself under the blood of Jesus, I can fall too. Some falls are short. Others are longer. I want no damage at all to my loved ones, but if there has to be some(for God's purposes)I pray it be minimal. I pray for His ever-flowing, abundant and infinite mercy and grace. I pray for His power on high to be released so that we may be enabled to go through storms. The kind of storms that shake us to the core and leave us wishing for our existence to be extinct. Oh yeah, we can be there too.

Father God, have YOUR way above all. Even though these mysteries of suffering and pain are not yet revealed, stay your hand of mercy and grace. Empower us, uphold us, strengthen us by your mighty power. We shall faint if you don't help us. We shall give up if you don't keep us. Oh my Lord sometimes the suffering is used to bring us to our knees b/c we have been unfaithful to you. Other times it's meant to prune us. At all times it's meant to manifest your Glory through broken clay vessels. "What is man that you are mindful of Him"? You STILL want us, even though we break your heart. You STILL want us in all of our mess and unrighteousness. Oh God I don't pretend to understand it all. But you know EXACTLY what's going on with YOUR creation and YOUR world, and at ALL times you are in control. The enemy is deceived and thinks He's winning. You ALLOW him to think that. But you oh Lord are not mocked. I praise you that "every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess" that you are LORD.. HALLELUJAH..VICTORIOUS JESUS.. FOREVER.

"He views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens" Job 28:24

" But he stands alone, and who can oppose him? He does whatever he pleases" Job 23:13

"But God drags away the mighty by his power; though they become established, they have no assurance of life". "He may let them rest in a feeling of security, but his eyes are on their ways". "For a little while they are exalted, and then they are gone; they are brought low and gathered up like all others; they are cut off like heads of grain" Job 24:22-24

Today

Praise God
Today was a day of peace..today was a day away from the stress of the job..today was just me in my skin writing poetry. I've had a couple days off and it has been so so good for my whole being. I felt beautiful in Harlem on saturday...the five boroughs got kisses from my lips..'twas feeling their rhythms in my hips. Need I say it again? I LOVE NEW YORK.
I am just grateful for downtime. Grateful for journeys with ascending heights and yes the lows too..it's all under God's care..
Today I learned a little to let things go..let people go..so God can do in them with He needs to do. I can't stop the world from hurting..but I can lift them before the throne of God and there shall He do the work for His glory.
I felt some unbalance today. Felt spaced out sometimes today. Realized I didn't get everything accomplished today. Felt like there's never enough time. But there is. God gives us enough of everything. It's up to me to utilize and prioritize and submit to discipline, order & balance. I will learn to forgive myself for not being able to hold the world up at all poles...today.
Today Christ whispered to me that He's still working on me, even during the times I don't see it. HE IS STILL AT WORK. NEVER SLUMBERS NOR SLEEPS.
God increase my faith.
Thank You for Your committment to me.
Let me be just as committed to You.
I love u

Tammy Faye Messner-rest in God's arms now

Encourage your people Father God and bring light to the darkness of man's heart, in the name of Jesus. Turn them away from contention and empty words and turn their eyes towards the Spirit of the Living God, who draws all to You. My Lord be lifted up above all and use this tragedy for Your glory. Comfort the family and loved ones of Tammy & cause them to come closer to You. I ask You to empower them to endure this suffering and lavish much grace & mercy on them Father God. May their mourning one day be turned to joy! Shut the mouth of the enemy & release your power from on High to save and deliver the lost. May your divine will be done, in the name of Jesus. amen.

"This is my comfort and consolation in my affliction: that Your word has revived me and given me life." Psalm 119:50

When the Holy Spirit puts His finger on it

so, I loooove music

With that being said, I must continually submit it to Christ. Anything can become a god.
Many years ago in college, I immensly enjoyed listening to a female singer who literally, figuratively and unbeknowst to me at the time; spritually "rocked" my world. Her lyrics were so profound, engaging & alive. Even down to the way she performed was entrancing. She had walked me thru one of the darkest times in my life & her music was the soundtrack to that time. I would sometimes listen to her for days on end and allow all of me to be swept up and away in her melodies. I must admit some of her music was dark and heavy and it matched my melancholy to the letter. During the times I was determined to be depressed, this worked out perfectly. I wasn't relying on Jesus and His grace, mercy and power to bring me thru, I was relying on her. This of course, is dangerous. Even though I was much more immature in the Lord back then, clearly I did not want to submit this to Him.
The Spirit of God, many years later began to reveal some truths to me about this music. I quietly thought "surely God wouldn't take this away from me!" "knowing how much her music has meant to me!!".
I remember trying to gloss over the pricking I began to feel in my heart. Full of excuses for why I couldn't surrender this over to God, I reasoned it away. But I began to notice a dis-enabling of my enjoyment of her music. It began to fall off and I was soooo frustrated with that! But it was nothing I could do about it b/c Jesus was going to have His will done in my life. He WILL NOT have any other gods before Him.The final breaking was when my attention was drawn to an undeniable dishonoring of the Lord from one her song titles. That was it. I had to throw the tape in the trash!! and don't think that I was feeling that either. But it was like "are you going to honor God jaz??"
Now it has happened again. This time it's a band that I had fallen in love with years back. Being a songwriter & storyteller myself, I am foremost drawn to the lyrics in a song, as opposed to the melody. There seemed to be such positive messages with this band. But once again, the finger of God was extending in grace and mercy to open my eyes to the truth. Again, I resisted. But it wasn't as rigid as it had been years back. I knew just the fact that I didn't wanna look at it, meant I HAD to look at it. That was saying something huge. Honestly, I don't remember praying about it, but I remember wishing it not so. Dag! could I give them up too? I quietly wondered.
Christ did a quick work. Within hours one night, He allowed me to find out about the meaning of the band's name and once again it was a total dishonoring to my Lord Jesus. Another struggle ensued. "Can't I just listen to the songs and disregard the band's name?" NO. To do that would be to disregard Christ your Lord. I asked myself yet a second time "are you going to STAND for the Lord jaz? Are you going to choose to honor your Father?? well praise be to God, He helped me to say yes to Him and surrender! I felt somewhat ashamed that I hadn't wanted to surrender, but I know Christ has forgiven me and has brought me into His Light regarding that dark place.

Into His marvelous Light
Thank you Jesus, for opening up my eyes and glorifying yourself through this surrendered vessel. Forgive me for putting this above you in my life. I know there's many more things you must put your finger on and for that I say thank you. You are so dedicated and committed to my individual growth, seasoning and maturity in this walk with You. You are faithful to complete the work you started in me!!! And thus in all of your children! Hallelujah!!
thank you Alpha AND Omega
Thank you

Independence Day?

Good morning world

As the Lord opened my eyes this morning, I sat on the edge of the bed and said "it's Independence Day!". and then I heard myself questioning, "but is it really?". Because many people today are not free. Many people are bound. They might be out & about walking in a parade or enjoying a plethora of city-run activities today. Smiling. Laughing. Eating ice cream. BOUND.
The star-spangled banners will fly. Kids will be running & playing. Hot dogs & hamburgers fired up on the grill. splish-splash of the swimming pools. Burning up the road and streaking the skies-logging miles to get to celebrations all over the world. But I wondered if Yolanda, a homeless lady in downtown Center City, knows it's Independence Day. I wonder if she cares? She gets to wake up on a sidewalk, while I got to wake up in my nice warm bed this morning. Who's free?
There are Christians in certain countries that can't worship Christ in public. Can't read their bibles on a train. Can't say grace or sing a gospel song...without being beaten to within an inch of their lives. Or watch their family get tortured. Pulled apart. skinned. shot by a firing squad. WHO'S FREE?
Someone today is washed over by the darkness of sin. Someone is consumed. Can't stop looking at pornography, can't stop spending rent money on gambling, can't stop lusting after and pursuing a married woman, can't stop stalking that married man, can't stop laying down with one sex partner after another, can't stop losing themselves in the bottom of a bottle, can't stop lighting up, firing up, eating up everything in sight, can't stop compulsively lying, can't stop cutting themselves, can't stop purging, CAN'T STOP SIN.
WHO IS FREE??
This is not Independence Day for everyone. And I am very thankful for the freedoms we have here in America. I pray I don't take any of it for granted. But there's still some areas in my life that are still bound and not entirely free. I haven't given that part of my heart over to the life-changing power of the Holy Spirit to transform and use for God's glory. And that brings me to what real Independence is?
Independence, living totally free is a life in Jesus Christ. Now, I belong to God. I am His child and He's adopted me into His family through His son, the Messiah's loving & painful sacrifice on the cross. I am free. But I am only free if I STAY in Christ Jesus. Whenever I go outside of Him and His will for my life and begin entertaining the flesh and want it wants and craves for..which is sin, I am enslaved. Those who haven't accepted Christ as their saviour don't even know they're bound, don't even know they need saving and the things of Jesus are foolishness to them. Their wills are bound by satan & they couldn't choose Christ even if they wanted to. He chooses us. He draws us to Him through His Holy Spirit. He even gives us the mind to believe and the power to confess and accept Jesus in our hearts. And then the best is that throughout our Christian life, the Spirit of God still draws us, enpowers us to confess our sins & turn away from it. He gives us the power to have a life, truly free in Christ Jesus. That is why I am grateful and know that those things I'm still bound in, won't stay that way. I've been given a new heart b/c the old one is "desperately wicked and beyond cure" as God's word says. The Holy Spirit frees us a little bit at a time. Sometimes a lot at a time. There were things I was bound to years ago, that I am free in now.
I walk through my residence today, full of peace. But years ago that was not so b/c I was bound and chained to a person who abused me. I did not have peace. He came into my dreams when I tried to sleep & escape. I had to have his arms around me, even though his arms hurt me. I choose him over Christ Jesus. He became my God. I turned my back on the Lord and chose chains. But through the power of the Holy Spirit and many prayers going up for me, He loosed my will and set me free. He helped me to surrender that part of my heart to Him. Even though I had to do my part, such as stop calling this man and stop accepting his calls; among many other things..it was God that even empowered me to do that.
Friends, today you can experience a true Independence Day. Jesus will enter in and make His home in your heart. Then, when storms come, He will help you ride right through it and come out stronger on the other end. You will know TRUE freedom when you accept God's son.
If you know Him and are faced with temptation, pray before you are tempted. If you have a problem with getting up from the table, then pray before you go to that barbecue today. God is freeing me from this. Cause the thing you're addicted to? It's not even about that thing. It's the deep holes inside of us..the emptiness inside that is crying out for God..and you don't even know it. We try and fill that void with anything and everything. It will NEVER work. NEVER.
So Father God, I pray for the world today. "The earth is the Lord and the fullness thereof". I pray for those bound today. May you release their wills & cause them to know their need of a Saviour. I pray for those that are looking to today's "fun" to get them through but know they have hell to go back to when they get home. Oh Lord have mercy! Draw millions by your Spirit today. Save oh Lord..SAVE! From the deep, dark hopeless wells of sin that many are in. Glorify yourself and add more names to the Lamb's book of Life. Those men and women who are fighting for freedom in the war, I ask you to strenghthen them mightily and protect them with your angels. And for them that's fighting, but something is eating them up inside, call them by name Father. As they're on the battlefield, speak to their hearts and take off the blinders. Again, I ask, draw millions to You today. To You..the Light of The World. You are the only One that can pull us out of darkness!!! Help those that are struggling in their faith walk today. That sin their struggling with might be taking them down, but Lord I ask that you rise up inside of them and let your enemy-the evil one-be destroyed in the name of Jesus! Lord you died for us to be free. To live free. Yet we are NOT living free. We are dishonoring your son's sacrifice. We are choosing to live in the small stories and small mindsets of this life. We don't get yet that we are royalty and can live God's best. Free our minds. Free our hearts. Arrest our hearts once again and bring us into right and divine relationship with you. Help us to trust you. Cords of sin entangle us and we can't get out. Help us to watch what we listen to and who we keep company with, what we read and take into our spirits. Help us to WANT to be free!! Expose sin for the evil, ugly thing that it is and give us true repentance. Help us to cry out to you!! Help us to cry out to you with a new cry! with desperation!! Only you can bring us to that point oh God. Let us hate our sin and what it does to us and how it separates us from You. Oh God I pray that you comfort Yolanda on the street and many many that are living homeless. They need a home, but more than that, they need a Saviour. They need Christ Jesus. Do a great turning of man's heart to You. BE GLORIFIED!! BE HIGH AND LIFTED UP ABOVE THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH OH MAGNIFICENT ONE!! THIS IS YOUR DAY, LIKE EVERY DAY IS! BRING TRUE FREEDOM!!
THIS DAY,BRING INDEPENDENCE DAY IN THE SON OF THE LIVING GOD, JESUS THE CHRIST!!!!!!!
HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!
AMEN.