First day in the studio

First day in the studio

Current mood: accomplished Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Saturday morning came in w/rain-much rain and @7am I was just getting into a comfy position..you know how you always do when it's time to get up outta that bed..lol. My bus to take me downtown for the NJ bus was @8am and if I know Septa right, I'd betta be out there 5-10 minutes early.
So I layed down for a lil' more sleep but remembered that a lil' more can turn into hours later and much regret. And so I rose gleefully w/the exciting expectations of the day. Today was gonna be where I shook hands w/my dreams. Bus schedule-check. Carfare-check. Recorder & lyrics-check. Jaz-check.
I rolled out into a rainy day w/giant umbrella in tow. Made sure to wrap up my recorder in a plastic bag and prayed that septa would come. It did and I dug in and got a nice 30minute nap while thinking of what joys today would bring. "This is finally happening", I said to myself. Not just talk of it, but actually doing it. I prayed over my day and asked the Holy Spirit to guide me during the unfamiliar trip to Woodbury, N.J. I had made sure to verify the schedule w/a NJ Transit operator last night and was confident that all would go well. But just in case I allowed a nice space gap between the time I arrived downtown to the time I arrived to board the 401 bus. Years of taking public transportation taught me that.
It was just as well, cause as I neared 6th & Race, I realized that there was no bus stop there. okay. stop Jaz and think..get your bearings and pray. Pay attention to Philly visitor-oriented guide signs. After accessing the situation I noticed the buses turning from a certain corner a couple blocks down and so I walked in that direction. All the while praying and trying not to get upset. I had 40 minutes to spare and was glad I alloted that extra time. After asking 2 people the way-one who had no clue and one that "maybe" knew I finally came upon someone who pointed me the way of N.J. Transit. I was sure I could've found it on my own but time was winding up and I needed to get it cracking. I said to myself, I had not come all this way just to give up.
Walking toward the Greyhound bus terminal I realized w/frustration that I could've been there 40 min. ago and not been rushing now. I flew thru the terminal(immediately being attracted to that NY bus) and asked where to take the bus. "Go to 10th & market" I was told. Great, more walking and I was a lil embarressed to be a Philly native and not know where to board this bus. More brisk walking got me to 10th st and I asked one more person was I standing in the right spot and she confirmed I was. Whew. I made it..now I wondered if I had missed the bus. I swayed side to side on the corner, nervously awaiting this mysterious bus. So after everyone that wasn't mine flew by, I asked the same person who confirmed I was at the right bus, was she waiting for my bus. She was. Whew.. again.
And so we-me and her struck up a conversation about how crazy it was that 6th & race was no stop for the bus and how it's printed on the schedule that it is a stop. I felt more at ease but still prayed that that bus would show up. Worry doesn't go w/prayer, does it?
Here it comes... finally. As I boarded I asked the operator to let me off @Washington and my heart sank as she said "there is no Washington". okayyyyyyyyy. So we-me and operator-agreed to both be on the lookout for my destination. Me and the woman talked almost the whole bus ride, amidst me looking out the window so much that I got dizzy. She told me tales of New York and how she lives in the city and of course that captivated me and I felt waves of hope wash over me that NYC was gonna be my home someday. I truly believe my gifts will take me there...along w/much prayer, determination, persistence, dedication, hard work and the favor of God.
As I neared what I believed was my stop, I yelled out "this is my stop.. please stop the bus". Embarressed, someone "said push the button". What button? I thought..Septa has a line to pull. So I gathered my stuff and flew up the front, continuing to say "this is my stop"..lol...I bid adieu to the woman named Tammy that I eventually exchanged email with and gratefully flew off the bus. Alot of flying , right? lol..It's about time.
I was at my destination and thanked God and was proud of myself for trying and doing. That doesn't always happen. I can talk myself out of some things. But I thought If I have to go through crap everyday going to a job I'm not fond of that has NOTHING to do w/my passions..then I can surely fight like heck to get to something that has everything to do w/my passions.
I tried the door. It was locked. okayy. be calm Jaz. I saw cars in the back and decided to try that door. It was open. My uncle emerged from his office and puzzlingly wondered why I was there. "Cuz didn't tell you?", I asked. Nope. okay again..lol..It's all good. "Cause I didn't come all this way for nothing", I told myself. Adversity builds muscle.
So my uncle and I talked for about an hour while I waited for my cuz. My uncle is awesome. He has so much wisdom. And it's good to get to know him and him-me on the level of adulthood. Just when I decided to go in and warm up my voice(which despite a good convo, I should have been doing)my cuz breezes in. He looks SO sleepy. I greet him and he apologizes for being late and we get right to work. No time to spare shooting the breeze.
We pray first and invite the Holy Spirit into our session and our creative partnership and then get it started. He's on the keys and I'm holding my songs. He's playing some beats and I'm singing into my recorder. We're just rehearing and constructing now and next time we will move into the studio in the next room and record. I like to document all my experiences w/this, so I record everything on my recorder..lol. This is gonna be my history and though it's not the first time I've been in a studio. It's the first time I'm doing me. and just me. This is my project. just Jaz. And that is the best-ever.
The beat he has for my song is sooo hot. It's beautiful and moving and grips me right in the heart. I start singing to it and can't believe this is my stuff. My words on wax. My feelings. My heart. My soul. My spirit. God's spirit working in me and through me. I really can't describe how absolutely blessed and exhilarated I felt. I thought about all the rough roads that led me to this point and I praised Jesus in my heart.
Me and cuz have the same passion for music. He's extremely gifted and we speak the same language. All of this is important for a productive, healthy working relationship. But I still pray. I pray for us to continue to connect. For us to do God's will. For us to come to know one another and build up a great friendship. I pray that we can work thru any difficulties that will arise and that we communicate well. I pray we're always honest w/each other and that I'm never afraid to speak up. Say what I desire and need. I pray the same for him. I pray that I'm teachable and that I will be a great student. Even though I'm gifted to sing..I have much to learn. I pray that this is seen through to the end and that God's dreams for me will come to fruition. That the world will be touched, changed and healed by my music..which came from Jesus's bosom.
In the course of working on my songs, cuz had some beats where he needed some lyrics. I delightfully accepted. I love being a songwriter. So I've got my work cut out for me. We won't be able to meet again until 2 weeks, but I'm glad I responsibly scheduled another session and that I have much to do in between the wait. I've got songs to write and melodies to construct...I got creativity to do. I'm ready. I'm willing. I'm able. I thank the Lord for bringing me here.
I could go on forever w/this blog(it's already so long..lol)..but I'll wrap it up and get to some studying. I finished constructing my song today. The Lord and I filled in the blanks and He gave me ideas and I recorded everything on tape. I will continue to do my homework. I will pray for discipline and to make wise decisions regarding my time and resources. I will not sleep on this..but I will attack this with all of the fire that's in my heart.
As I walked back to my crib, I felt, for the first time in a long time, a great sense of accomplishment. I could've soared at that moment. Thank u Jesus.
My wings have gotten some exercise. They remember that they can fly..
Let's go
luv
Jaz

HAPPY BLESSED DAY OF MY BIRTH!!

Current mood: thankful

Father God, I praise you for allowing me another year of life. My heart, soul, mind, body & spirit gives You thanksgiving and honor for giving me this day.
For your unabashed love for me, for creating me, for forming me in my mama's womb, for choosing me, for adopting me into Your family, for sealing me in your blood for redemption, for writing my name in the Lamb's Book of Life, for ordering my steps, for being my past-present-future-eternity. For my smile, for my rain, for my sun, for my lessons, for my gifts, for my personality, for my new nature, for my freedom, for house & home, for eyesight, hearing, speech, taste, touch, smell. For the ability to work, for a job, for my family, for my friends, for strangers who've touched my life, for enemies who inspire me, for enemies who I will learn to love through your eyes, for your detailed plans for me, for your intimacy, for your chastisement, for your discipleship, for your counsel, for your wisdom, for your favor, for your belief in me, for your dreams for me, for reconciliation, for deliverance, for heart change, for sanctification, for acceptance, FOR YOUR PRECIOUS BLOOD. THANK YOU.

Ordered Steps

Saturday was wild! lol...
The morning began with me waking up trying 2 get in touch w/my cuz to make sure we were still on for the recording. I enlisted my mom to help me get the message to him since I don't have long distance & she does. Meantime, my Gmom calls and we get engaged into a nice long, divinely ordered conversation(we always do!). So I'm like on the phone w/her for hours(all the while the Lord ministering to me through her regarding a current hard situation going on in my life, of which I will blog about later). I keep hearing this clicking on the phone and kept feeling like someone might be trying to get through. Gmom says it isn't her line and I don't have a 2nd line, so what's going on? lol..I felt it stronger still, so after telling her I'd get back w/her later, I free up my line & call my mom back. Sure enough she and my cuz were trying 2 reach me..haha! the Lord was tapping the line! lol...also it's good to learn how to listen to those strong instinctual feelings inside.
Cuz and I decided 2 go forth w/it and I was to get the NJ Transit bus schedule together. So I call my Gmom back 2 update her and we get to talking again. I tried to wrap that conversation up but I couldn't get off that phone! lol..clearly I wasn't supposed to. Again, more ministry & prayers for me and finally I got off 2 get ready. Rrrringgg! another call from my cuz an hour later and I knew he wanted to know had I got the bus schedule together. As I began to tell him I was getting ready 2 do it, he was telling me that he only had free time until 4pm and it was already 12noon. Well I knew it wasn't gonna work out and it was o.k. I would be over there tomorrow(Sunday) for church & a surprise birthday party for my Uncle. So we promised to work on my music then.
I luv that God has my steps ordered. Sometimes I forget that or it's hard 2 believe when things appear chaotic & out of control. He knew how Saturday was to be. He knows the plans He has for me. Saturday was also a reminder for me to make sure that I follow-up w/things. That I probably should've gave my cuz a reminder the week prior, so it could be in both our minds. And so I learn my lessons and I go on in the Lord, knowing He's got it all in His hands. thanks Jesus.

testing..new beta

hey does this thing work?

*Working on my first cd**

Praise the Lord, I should be going into the studio this Saturday working on my first cd. Got a few fears, okay who am I kidding! lol..many fears, but God's got that as well. I just wrote a new song the other night and it came out of my devotion w/the Lord(as most of my songs have). I pray it heals me as well as others who will hear it.
I'm gonna record this new one first. God has told me to start performing my own songs at open mics. I usually sing other artists' songs but it's time to step out and bring what Jesus writes through me. It's kinda funny cause I have no music to it, 'cept the music in my heart, but I've sang in church many times w/no music and I love acapella, so it will work out. I pray though I eventually get music to go with my open mic performances.
My thoughts..is this really finally happening? how long will it take? will I make it through? will it be received?
"Oh Christ, help me to fully give this to you as you gave it to me. These are your words, this is your vessel..you told me to step out and now that's what I'm doing. Open up my flower and surround me with people that will support and believe in my vision. Help me to be a student & sponge and help me to be disciplined and to BE MYSELF. Give me divine wisdom and bring musicians, vocalist, managers, agents, record companies divinely ordered by you into my existence. Help me to speak up for myself and know what's good for me. Hep me to believe in myself and to commit to glorifying your name and touching people lives with your hand. Help me to have fun! and enjoy this process. I love you. I come against the spirit of fear in the name of Jesus. Be high and lifted up Lord always and forever!" amen

sigh

hey, got like 1 sec to post. It's official, I'm hard-headed. Computer permantly broke down and if I would've listened to my Lord like months ago and bought a new one, this could've been avoided. ANYWAY! I'm His eternal student. couple classes I gotta take again. But I know He loves me forever and always. As well as I
Thanks for being my Father, Jesus.
peace