braids & ministry

O.k. so it's 11:30 p.m. and I'm between "should've been in bed at 10p.m. and squeezing in a blog before 12 a.m."

How 'bout my braids have been slipping out my head one by one..grrrrrr..what is that?? I've been singing the shop's praises & gleefully giving the # out & now 3 pieces of hair stare up at me(not really, but that sounded like a good poetic filler). But seriously, the stuff is coming out. Either I will take to the arduous task of rebraiding them myself(which I dislike, cause didn't I just come out of my pocket for someone else to do that?) or I will CUT IT ALL OFF! YEAH! I waited for months to get these. Submitted to grueling hours on end in that chair and loud-repeat-every-song-on-the-hour-Power 99fm, cause I knew the end result would be worth it. And it was. But now I see that underneath the shiny braided first layer of human hair is frizz & mess. Hmm, that reminds me of something. US..Humans.

Doesn't God chisel behind the shiny? He digs right through the pretty package to the catastrophes inside that we hide. An undisciplined mind. A doubt-ridden heart. A wayward tongue. A self-depricating attitude.Covetousness, envy, bitterness, resentment, pride, conceit, selfishness. Whew when He lifts up the lid, when He goes behind the walls, when He takes off the covers...WE STINK!! And He's got to go to work on us..It's b/c of His amazing and persistent love that tends to us. He's the master constructor..the master builder..thank God He will not leave us like we are. PRAISE THE NAME OF THE LORD!!

So today I got a phone call from an old friend. I did not know that God was gonna use me to minister. To be honest, I didn't feel like talking & I wanted to return back to my nap. But something in this woman's voice was urgent. Oh there was small talk and pleasantries..but I heard a strain, a wail, a cry for help behind her voice. It was different than from before. Something about it told me she was at a breaking point. I knew I had to stay on that phone. So she proceeded to unravel & it was pretty bad. I just thought to myself, "who am I Lord?!"to tell anybody anything!" But it's God, not me!! This woman was drowning and dying inside. I just listened to her and you know how you can get mad b/c you see their chains and you just want them to be free and this is like the 30 millioneth time they've called you with this problem? just being real..I wanted her free! Just at that point I could understand my mom's frustration w/me when I kept banging my head into the same wall. Kept going back for more hurt. Kept choosing to be enslaved. Kept hurting myself. I spoke to her with the conviction of the Holy Spirit..in love, but firm. I gave her examples of what I went through that mirrored her situation and how I am a miracle b/c Jesus saved me out of those death walks. At some point I knew I could talk 'til I was blue in the face but God's Spirit of truth had to convey truth to her. Has to open her eyes and take the blinders off. I'm NOONE's saviour and I had to give her into the arms of Christ. I had to entrust her to Him. It wasn't easy...but I had to let her go and let God. Let God minister His truth to her. Let God do spiritual surgery on her. Let God draw His daughter back to Him. Let Him work on her, let Him heal her, let Him free her. Only Jesus can do it. She has let this man take over her life and God wants His child back! God SHALL have no other gods before Him. I'm a witness that He'll intensify His efforts to reconcile us back to Him. I ended the conversation w/reading a scripture and praying for her. Then, with God's help I had to release and let her into God's bosom. Will still pray for her..will still hold her up and minister when God gives it to me to do.(ok it's 2 minutes till tomorrow).

Father God, have mercy on my friend. Lead her back to a saving knowledge of you. Save her and pour truth and light upon her. Take out the junk and fill her up with your Spirit. I bind the enemy from taking over her mind, in the name of Jesus. Whisper to her, call to her soul, call her by name this night and do what you must to bring her back, in the name of Jesus..for her gold and for your glory..amen.

much love,

Jaz

p.s. I think I decided to keep in my braids..they still kinda look good.(this is not denial). :-)

gnite