"Do it afraid"

ok so..I was getting ready to say wow! my computer is still working....and it is but it's tripping right at this second(hence the previous post of "testing")...lol...anywhoo...how are ya? O Blog If I had the time I would lavish all of my writing on you. You've been short-changed and you've been patient...lemme indulge details(like I've been promising for a while now).................................

So like I was saying before, God's been blessing in my career. It's like first of all, He's helping me "do it afraid", to quote Joyce Meyer. I remember hearing something else profound that always stuck with me, and is just now crystalizing into the physical realm.."show up, and let the Holy Spirit deliver your dream to the world". Zowee! that is some kinda truth..and it 's right. So many times for many different reasons(fear, procrastination) I wouldn't "show up". There would even be times that I put off performing b/c I didn't have the "right outfit" or my hair wasn't done up right...no more! These days, I've gone when I've had menstrual cramps(t.m.i.), when I've had a headache, when I didn't feel "fashionable", when my hair wasn't necessarily the way I liked it...and each and every time was like a fearless faith seed being implanted into the soils of my dreams...each time something spectacular and amazing happened. I would be offered a gig at a show, another artist would come up to me and wanna collab on different projects, an editor would want to do an interview on me.....all these things happened when I stopped making excuses and just "showed up".

And I was awe-struck each time. Now I'm not saying show up looking a hot mess or unprepared..but just take those mustard-seed faith steps out beyond your fears. Show up and see what happens. For so many years I believe the Lord has been trying to show me this. He has truly opened my eyes...gave sight to the blind..lol. And I asked Him to. That's one of my ongoing prayers. To open my eyes to all the things I'm currently blind to in my life.....not someone else's eyes..my eyes. So since these steps, I've been a featured poet at three different spoken word shows, had my interview and poet published in a local magazine, met up with some awesome artists w/possibilities of future collabo's and just been allowing the Spirit to work through me. O try Jesus, please try Him folks...you can't go wrong.

Now, onto deeper riverbeds, if you will. Talking 'bout the Spirit's work-in me. In some previous posts you've read my questions of being used for Christ in the spoken word world. Well, God as usual is doing a mighty work. All the above is nice, but this is where the meat of it is. As never before, I've been taking Christ with me in these places. Asking Him to put together my program, praying for the hearts of men/woman/children who would hear my words..for them to be ministered to and be drawn by the Spirit of the Lord. My therapist(yes I have one) was used mightily of God to share some truths with me in regards to this. As I began to tell her how sometimes I was bothered at looks and/or minimal handclap from the audience, the Spirit through her told me not to be concerned with that. That I may never know and don't see(unless God permits) the invisible work of the Spirit. I don't know what God's doing behind the scenes, how someone's heart may've been changed or a seed fertilized or spiritual eyes/ears opened. Something is always happening with Jesus, many times He works in the shadows. I just need to praise Him before, during and afterwards for answering the "call". Walk away. Know that I obeyed Jesus and let Him take care of the rest. This is my reward. wow! Is that not amazing?! I tell you I love it when He takes off our blinders and clears the wax out to manifest full truth into our hearts. Thank you Jesus. You amaze me.

Now, I am not a fool to think that I still don't need prayer in this area. The performer in me wants the accolades, the fingersnaps, if you will. But I also want change. Change in me, change in them. Souls are at stake...and that is way beyond the scope of any performance. Souls. Souls. Souls. for the Kingdom of God!

Thank you Father God, for using me. May I always answer the call and show up.

Okay, this is turning into an epic. lol...it's been awhile like I've said before. Thanks for allowing me to pour out..I'm gonna post my poem(a first) that Jesus gave me after I came through all these lessons. Let it encourage you and bless Him.

love u

gnite