pain for gold-6/23/07

Current mood: loved

I marvel at Jehovah's creativity all over me as I go thru some grevious times. Yeah I'm still in those fires..lol..shaken up, stirred, stripped, broken, nurtured, toughened, molded, humbled by the Almighty God. Can't no one do it like Him!
Thru my weeps and wails, moans & whispers out of sometimes an angry heart; Christ is writing poetry and song through me. As He always does. But it's just amazing for it to come forth when I least expect it. Honestly I hadn't even been talking to my Lord & there I was, on my knees, crying and writing and PRAISING. WOW!
I remember when cooling down after a recent workout on a Saturday morning, the Holy Spirit saying in my ear, clear as a bell, "Jesus died for you". And I'm like, "Holy Spirit I KNOW that". And then I began to get curious and ask Him for revelation. I felt He was saying to me "Jesus died for you, and now you must CONTINUE to die for Him". WOW again. I shared it w/my mom and she offered that God's Spirit was telling me that Jesus died for this too. This being the fires I'm in. He died for all of it. The confusion, the pain, the anguish, the despair, the hopelessness, the feeling forsakenness, the doubt. All those different deep levels that's washed over me these last couple months & shipwrecked me onto His bosom. How precious of Him to tell me that..to remind me of His love..to remind me of His sacrifice..to remind me of His heart. A heart that the enemy wants me to doubt.
I remember when the Lord used my mom to remind me that I still have an enemy. Still have an adversary who slithers and stalks the Lord's elect & loves to pounce on us when we're wounded & weakened from ongoing pain & suffering. In my fog, I had forgotten. I spent so much time feeling as if the Lord had turned on me that I neglected to see the real enemy. I'm so sorry Father God.
I remember just last night after watching "Facing the Giants" with a jaded eye, that before I knew it, surprised & oversized tears fell and heavied hands went up to give Him much praise. I felt His hug and His kiss and His reassurance. Really no words in the english language do justice in describing how I felt in those precious moments. Hey, can I bottle this?
I'm taking the time to remember so I can stand on the Word of God that says, "Because of your love, we are not consumed". I am still here. Still breathing. Still fighting. Still growing. Still in love. Oh yeah, I'm still in love w/my Lord and my Husband Jesus Christ. For I had thought that angry period took this away. Yet, another lie.
Thank God that He doesn't throw us away when we get attitudes and shut down and turn away. Thank God for much mercy...much grace..much compassion and much Holy Spirit intercession. Thank God that He knows His children..is "accquainted with all my ways". Nothing, absolutely nothing comes as a surprise to Jesus. I'm learning to share ALL of me with Christ. good, bad, ugly & indifferent. Real relationship. The best I could and ever will have. How awesome!!!
Father God I thank you that I'm not even where I was a couple of weeks ago. Pain is still here but you are bringing gold to the surface. You are bigger than anything I could suffer on this earth. You are mightier and YOUR purposes for this shall prevail in and over my life for YOUR glory!
pain for gold
pain for gold
pain for gold
gold for GLORY.
GOD'S GLORY.
It is truly ALL ABOUT HIM