pain and choices
what do you do when you are grieving?
you start reaching for old lovers in your life..it could be food, daydreaming,an ex-boyfriend,sex,excessive partying...
things that you were in bondage to..provides temporary relief but it scars your soul and separates you from Jesus. It also gives the enemy a gateway..he just needs a crack..to start demolition again..he's always searching for a weakness..he will even use grief.
Let's face it..how many colossal mistakes and unwise choices has one made, after being lost in sorrow?
Well that's where I'm at now..I just lost a dear loved one..and I'm in my process now. kinda just wanted to lay in bed..didn't really do anything but..dream.
Dreamt of an ex..sin in conceived in the mind first..and it doesn't take long to crystallize into action.
I prayed today..even though I didn't want to and I'm a little angry w/God(ok maybe alot..but He's my life source..I can't stay away from Jesus. and so I prayed..to be kept by His power.
I got myself together long enough to walk into the night air and get a few things from the store...and that took much effort..had a good few cries....this..is..effort.
I was able to come out of my pain at different times today...when I watched the soaps(lol)...I counseled a young lady over the phone who was in much more agony than me..and then talking to one of my best friends who is also in extreme grief..
I was glad to help...although my pain is still here.
all in together now,
that's the sun and rain of it all..
gnite
p.s. my praise report I promised is that b/c Jesus lives...I can face tomorrow. :-)
posted by Jaz at
11:30 PM
1 Comments:
jaz my heart aches for you and what you are going through... but like you said, Jesus lives, God is still sovereign, and he is still holding you in the palm of his hand... leading you, guiding you, whispering his strength, peace and love into your heart and lungs... i know the enemy is trying to get into your mind and bring you down further... but you have the Holy Spirit inside of you, you have that self-control, your helper and comforter.. and he will strengthen you thru this time.. he will help you to guard your heart, your life and your example, he will stir up in you the joy of the Lord's salvation.. he will bring you thru to a brighter day... God longs to show himself thru our suffering.. give him the glory my friend... loads of love, hugs, and prayers from this end!
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